Full but not filled

Lately, I’ve been thinking about why it’s so easy to fall into the habit of consuming.

We buy. We watch. We scroll. We read. We listen. We look for inspiration. We order things we don’t really need. We save ideas for later.

There is always something coming in.

I know this mechanism very well myself.

Sometimes I feel like watching something, reading something, buying something, checking something. And as soon as one thing ends, another one appears.

So I started asking myself: what am I actually looking for in all of this?

The answer was simpler than I expected.

I’m looking for a change.

I want to feel different from how I feel right now.

I’m bored — I look for stimulation.

I feel bad — I look for something to occupy me.

I don’t know what to do — I look for inspiration.

I feel empty — I start watching or scrolling.

Consumption can very easily become a way of changing how we feel.

“Just one more thing”

I notice it most in the word “more.”

One more movie.

One more thing.

One more article.

One more book.

One more idea.

I’ll prepare a little more.

I’ll learn a little more.

I’ll buy one more thing.

And then I’ll start.

Except that “one more” never really ends.

There is always another thing to find.

Another piece of information. Another product. Another idea.

You can spend the entire day being busy and still go to bed feeling like you didn’t actually do anything of your own.

And that’s where I started thinking about the difference between consuming and creating.

When I only consume

When I consume, I’m constantly receiving.

Someone else’s knowledge.

Someone else’s opinion.

Someone else’s story.

Someone else’s idea.

Someone else’s product.

Someone else’s work.

I’m the receiver.

And it’s very comfortable.

I don’t have to come up with anything. I don’t have to put myself out there. I don’t have to find out whether what I have to say is good enough.

I just take it in.

Creating is different.

Creating means stepping out of the role of the receiver.

I have to bring something out of myself.

Write.

Draw.

Make.

Invent.

Say something.

And suddenly there’s a question:

Is what I have enough?

Maybe that’s one reason it’s so easy to stay a consumer.

There is no risk.

Creating gives me something buying never can

There is a very simple feeling:

“I made this.”

I didn’t buy it.

I didn’t find it.

I didn’t receive it.

I didn’t copy it.

I made it.

And that feeling is completely different from the satisfaction of buying something new.

That’s why creating doesn’t have to mean starting some huge project.

I can cook something of my own.

I can write a few sentences.

I can take a photo.

I can invent a game.

I can create a book.

I can design something that didn’t exist before.

I can simply do something my own way.

All of that is creating.

I don’t want to stop consuming

I’m not talking about living without movies, books, shopping or the internet.

I like consuming.

I like a good film. I like reading. I like finding something beautiful. I like buying something I genuinely love.

The problem starts when consuming takes up all the space.

When instead of making something of my own, I look for something someone else has made.

When instead of using what I’ve already learned, I look for more information.

When instead of starting, I keep preparing.

When instead of creating, I keep looking for inspiration.

And then I realise I don’t need another dose of inspiration.

I need to sit down and make something.

From consumer to creator

I like the idea of changing the balance.

Instead of constantly asking:

“What else can I get?”

I want to start asking:

“What can I make?”

What can I create with what I already have?

What can I say?

What can I show?

What can I give?

What can I do in my own way?

It feels like a completely different way of looking at life.

I don’t have to keep searching for something.

I already have so much inside me.

Experiences. Ideas. Knowledge. Emotions. Stories. Skills.

I can start using them.

And I think that’s what I want more of now.

Not less life.

Not less pleasure.

Not fewer things.

More of my own creating.

More moments when I can look at something and say:

“This is mine. I made this.”